That Is Enough

The death of a loved one changes everything – even our other relationships. Tragedy can bring out the best in people and, sadly, sometimes the worst. Through the grief process I have learned to devote my energy and time to what is truly important and to value that which is worth valuing.

I had someone I was very close with walk away after Jordan’s death. I was bewildered and sad at the secondary loss, but it paled next to the devastating tragedy of losing my son. The hurt I felt at the time was later replaced with acceptance. I realize there are people who are unable to walk this painful path alongside me and that is okay.

Although a few relationships have fallen by the wayside in the midst of my grief, I have been blessed with many other friendships that have endured and deepened. I have learned much from these special associations and my soul is all the better for them. I believe God sent me the people I needed at just the right time.

A family friend, who lives out of state, sent me and my daughter a caring text message every day for more than a year after Jordan’s death. Even when I didn’t respond for weeks, or even months, she didn’t give up. She knew I was suffering and she responded with love. Another friend sent me frequent thoughtful cards. I saved them to look at again and again... those cards became a frequent blessing when I needed comfort. She also called me multiple times a day to check on me and she helped me do the things I couldn’t do. Another friend brought me dinner on countless nights and really good watermelon when it was out of season because she realized that was all I would eat. She would sit with me in the evenings and cry when I cried, but she was also comfortable with my silence. She tolerated my irritation and loved me in spite of it. She fixed things, did yard work, and planted my garden when I was out of town. She gave from the heart. I know I was hard to be around, but these women never gave up on me. I trusted them in a world that felt so unsafe. What I brought to the table was profound grief and brokenness. What they brought to the table was a willingness to listen and share my sorrow. They held me up when I couldn’t stand on my own.

There are many others who have walked with me in my grief journey so far. I have a debt of gratitude to so many and I continue to connect with others who will walk with me as I move forward. This journey is rocky and unpredictable, but it is comforting to know I will not be adrift alone or an added burden to my loved ones who are traveling their own grief passage. God uses other people to help us grow. He has sent me people who have cared, loved, prayed for and tended to my soul. What they have done is honor the memory of my son, and for a bereaved mother, that is enough.