My Forever Valentine

I have always had a special fondness for Valentine’s Day – what’s not to like? A day to celebrate those we love and, of course, adding chocolate candy to the mix never hurts! Although I had celebrated February 14th many times before, I consider 1992 my first. It was the first Valentine’s Day spent with my 9-month-old son, Jordan. My feelings for him gave a whole new meaning to the word love... it was all-consuming. Oh, I was so proud and protective and completely smitten! He captured my heart and holds it still.

Unbeknownst to me on that day in 1992, I would only be able to share 24 of these special days with Jordan. It wasn’t enough, but it was all I was granted, and I am grateful for every single one. In life and death, Jordan taught me much about love. Celebrating those we love shouldn’t be limited to one day. And although I would have given him the world on a silver platter if it was in my power, humble love is the best kind of love.

Love is cooking macaroni and cheese from scratch every day for weeks on end because that is what he wanted to eat.

Love is ignoring the cramp in your hand while you continue to rub your child’s leg when he has a “growing pain.”

Love is having to disappoint your child for his own good and then crying yourself to sleep because it hurt you more.

Love is watching professional wrestling and pretending you really like it!

Love is being the loudest cheerleader in the gym during wrestling season.

Love is waiting up to make sure your child gets home safely from Prom.

Love is making mistakes and saying, “I’m sorry.”

Love is having differences of opinion, but finding the middle ground.

Love is reluctantly loosening the apron strings, but keeping them intact.

Love is thinking you’ll burst with pride at the sight of your handsome, smart and kind son who had grown into such a fine young man.

And now love is honoring and cherishing a memory that is among my most prized possessions. It is joy and gratitude for the gift and deep sorrow for the loss.

This is the second year Jordan and I won’t be exchanging gifts or cards or hugs or kisses. There will be no text messages or phone calls to say, “I love you.” But it’s all there... in my heart. Happy Valentine’s Day, Jordan. You are my forever valentine!