My Better Half

I fell in love with my husband all over again on July 4th. We went fly fishing like we used to do. It was so much fun… I caught twice as many fish as he did and couldn’t wait to tell family and friends of my accomplishment! I didn’t mention that he only spent about a quarter of his time fishing. He let me have all the sweet spots and he spent quite a bit of time rescuing my fly from willow branches or untangling my line that was knotted up in a tight little ball. But those are minor details... aren’t they?

I realized when we got back to the truck that it was the first time since my son, Jordan’s death in February of 2016 that I actually enjoyed myself and wasn’t just pretending. The mountain scenery was beautiful and it was wonderful to be part of nature. The grief from my loss was still present, but it was not overwhelming. I was grateful for a couple of hours to recharge...my heart needed that.

My husband and I have had to weather some major storms during our marriage. There was a time we thought that an illness forcing us to live apart was the worst thing we would ever experience. Boy, were we wrong. The death of a child is a devastation beyond description, but we have survived it. We have hurt each other’s feelings and suffered misunderstandings and frustrations. We have cried many tears and battled my demons of despair. We grieve differently, but have learned to accept and value each other’s journey. Our great loss has, in some ways, strengthened the marriage.

As I continue learning to navigate this journey, I am able, at times, to look beyond my deep sorrow and find comfort in my incredible blessings. I have family who have supported me through the anguish of losing my precious son. It is no small comfort to know that my husband will be there for me on this rocky road, no matter how rough it gets. Thank you, Lee. I love you. You are a good man.